kiss my fist

Sunday, April 11th, 2004

Time:

5:07 pm.

well you may not be able to read this cuz i screwed my text up but from now on you can find me on "__toughlove"

thanx

I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Friday, April 9th, 2004

Subject:	German porn???
Time:	12:32 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.

well to "officially" start spring break (since i havent done anything yet really..) linz came with me to my drum lesson last night and slept over. it was fun cuz she is reallt the first person who saw me play except for my "instructer" dave. and she sed i was really good =)
well my grades have improved alot and i picked out a set, so ill probably be getting drums ina couple weeks :)...yeah finally some good news for chels

well anyway then we rented to movies from hollywood and we wanted to get ones we never heard of so we got "camp" and "big girls dont cry" we didnt have any instint popcorn so we had cornels and a popcorn machine..and it was basicully about ton explode....well "camp" was about this theater camp that had only girls and gay guys...and one summer a straight guy came and sexed up all the girls lol it was funny cuz he almost turned gay at the end.

so then at around 11:30 we watched , and found out that "big girls dont cry" was in german so it had subtitles...yeah im the smart one who picked it out. well anyway i knew it was gona be about "bad girls" but uh...i dint knwo how bad they were gona be.lol. it was rated R but we told Dan it was basicully a german porn movie lol. the best part was when this girl almost got raped> cuz it was funny cuz it was a old guy. but also it was funny cuz the whole time i was trying to speak the subtitles and i was sounding french instead of germen. and whenever the two girls woulh hug and kiss i woudl sart singing the lesbo german girl song "they're not gona get us!" by T.A.T.U haha

well this is pretty long and i think we might do something today with "the 3 stooges" and sarah. bowling? i dunno cuz are plans always get screwd up.

I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Wednesday, April 7th, 2004

Subject:	i usually dont update twice ina day but im feeling "un-usual" so yeah
Time:	10:19 pm.
Mood:	happy.
Music:	"short stories with tragic endings" >from autumn to ashes.

well today i wasnt feeling so great but after talking to sarah i feel better. it not often that i have like that "really happy this persons my friend" moment cuz whenever i think that about a friend, i sometimes take it back. well i dont think i will....

LuvvYourHate: there was shit i had to deal with when i was younger and i alwasy thought "i hate my life its never gona get better" but the fact is...time goes on IT GETS BETTER and we get over stuff...and i think its better to have to deal with stuff when your young cuz i think its just Gods way of saying "if you make it through this then youll have a great future" like i think you are gona have a great life cuz YOU DESERVE way more than alot of people get, and thier the ones who are gona suffer when they get older...
soldout romancex: me?
LuvvYourHate: all this teenage "OC" type drama doesnt matter in the end....i honestly woudln matter having a depressing life as long as i knew it ended well...jeez i seriously think surviving teen years is the biggest challenge in our lives but eventually itll be a thing of the past
soldout romancex: i agreeeeeee!!!
LuvvYourHate: im just talking "hypotheticully" but yeah you are gona have the best life than anymore cuz you deserve it and eventually everyone gets whats coming to them....maybe people that get all the guys now because in their future they dont get married..and we do..or somehting...but i like the fact that once we get older we can meet everyone in the world and pick who we want to be ou friends instead of gettin stuck with people we may not like.....woah im feeling so "wise" tongiht lol
soldout romancex: haha yes! your telling me stff that a smart person knows:-)
soldout romancex: and your also gonna have a GREAT life .. outta eevryone i know .. you deserve it .. every fuckin second of it
LuvvYourHate: woah knows...maybe youll end up marrying who you like lol but the fact is everything happens for a reason and alot of times bad stuff happens but then even better stuff happens...like my mom was engaged before my dad..but then broke it off..and if she never broke up with that guy she never would of met my dad (her soulmate lol) and wouldnt of been as happy> yeah thats just a example
soldout romancex: awww
LuvvYourHate: and nah i already have a great life...cuz i have awesome friends like YOU..but you are gona have to best life ever and if you dont im gona force you to and if you dont like it well TOO BAD cuz ill do whatever it takes so that you can get what you want lol
soldout romancex: aww BG i fuckin love youu!:-) and spending so much time with you has already started my great life<3:-):-)
LuvvYourHate: hehe spending time with my BG has started my great life too ehhe<333333 man i sure do love helping the people i love..cuz you know we were all put on earth for a reason maybe mine was to be a philosopher and yours was to be the bestest person on earth hehe <3
soldout romancex: awww bg your fuckin rad times 5624821! you always make em smile!:-) im here to .. be a good frnd:-) i think haha unless theres something else .. and possbily be the best bg-pimpshades and talker there is:-)
LuvvYourHate: haha yeah i think you might win "most talkative" for the whole earth hehe but its a good thing cuz without talking all we woudl do is sitt around hateing each other cuz no one would be able to say anything hehe...and all i know is that you deffinatly were meant to be my friend cuz you always make me feel good and im glad i have you, so your purpose is to be the pimp-iest pimpshades, be a talker, grow up to be the best person ever and to be my fwennnnnnd ehhe
soldout romancex: awww and bg .. your perpose on hte earth is to make me smile and feel happy times 1000000000! and make everyone happy by telling them good things about them and you were deff meant to be my frnd bc you always know how to make me happy and have a fun fun time! and we always can talk for 2 hours straight with a guy .. start out with a frown and end in a smile .. i mean only certin people can make me happy and your deffinitly one of those people .. i mean with out my bg .. my life would have this spot that needed to be filled .. but im just grateful that i have a frnd that cares about me and is always there for me like you:-)
soldout romancex: about a guy**
LuvvYourHate: heh yeah
LuvvYourHate: <333333333333333333333333333u
soldout romancex: i love youuuuuuuuuuuuu bggg:-):-)
soldout romancex: awww:-D:-D
autoresponse from soldoutromance:BG is made my dayy!:-) the best person on the face of the earthh! <3.. lucky to have a frnd like her:-)

yup im smileing right now. sarah rules end of story and she is so great that shes in two of my entrys ina row:)

1 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Subject:	B fucking G
Time:	11:45 am.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	"silver and cold" afi.

Well its official…I’m “un-grounded” from the internet.
yay.
I’ve been hanging out with my BG Sarah this week (yeah I don’t think most people know what BG means…) and first she came over last Monday and we walked to Joes Pizza with britt dona and trac, then came home and hung out with all the skaters. Yeah I wanted to go inside and trac and sarah were like “NO…uhh…its nice outside”…yeah but I really know they just wanted to tap that skater ass. Lol. Well anyway then Sar came home with me again on Friday and we hung out here along with dan matt andy and dom and then went to tracys that night. I haven’t got out much lately so its nice to hang with my friends. And also its nice to know I have people that I can always count on cuz everyone knows that list keeps getting smaller.also Lindsay sez she keeps getting discluded from group stuff so I think we need to put an end to that..well heres some pics from recess on Monday and I have about 59765972606 more to upload but these will do for now.

( !!!!!!!@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!!!!!! )

6 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Saturday, March 27th, 2004

Subject:	Lock IN- and since i havent been on ina while, i'm allowd to make it a long one
Time:	2:44 pm.
Mood:	drained.
Music:	"Glycerine" bush.

Well as I’m sure everyone on LJ knows, last night was the lock-in, and lets say it wasn’t what I expected. Everyone is always like “lock in this, lock in that” and always telling us kiddos that’s its so much fun, and that we’ll remember it for years and blah blah blah…well heres for the people that haven’t done it..it aint hot shit.

I guess it started out good cuz everyone was ina good mood, and all excited, and it’s funny cuz after all this time I wasn’t really looking forward to it that much, I dunno why, cuz I knew it was gona be fun, but I guess I just wasn’t feeling “all the hype”. Anyway it started with a dance and it was kinda funny cuz I think I saw only 2 boys dance the whole time (not including slow songs) >Ron and Alex, so all the girls just grinded with their selves hah. Well towards the end people started fighting, which got more people fighting and pissed off, and I was lucky enough to be all around it.

Then we had I guess a “pizza party” and I didn’t have any pizza but Rocco was my water boy, and we got demonstrations about drugs and alcohol, loads of fun

Then for like 2 hours we got to do w/e we wanted but all the stuff they had I didn’t want to do, so I basically wandered around with various people while listening to good music I didn’t expect to love. I played dance dance so I guess that was fun. And also me Linz and Val did a karaoke to the song “If you had my love” by J.LO haha that was something to remember.

Then I guess we had another “party” only this time it was “ice cream” and I sat with Linz and we were both bored so we kept taking pictures of our eyes so the flash would keep us awake. Then I started talking about some song , I cant remember cuz I was sorta “out of it”. Then we were forced to watch these contests in the gym

Then I think I walked around again for a while, I was gona go watch POTC but I thought I would fall asleep laying on the floor watching that (and I made a previous promise to myself NOT to fall asleep). Then I got into a fight with one of my best friends, yeah that’s always good :-/ but I guess I i shouldnt talk since im pissed at him too. Also I talked to Shannan Kelly , and I gotta say that girl is so awesome. I mean I always thought she was awesome, but its even better to know theres someone else who’s in the same position, and feels the same way I do.

Well at around 6 I guess I ended up on the floor in the library, hmm and its weird cuz trac was also saying “how did I end up here”, and its funny trying to wake that thing up, cuz she screams and acts like she in her bed at home.

Well anyway to sum it up, I felt sick since Thursday so I wasn’t in the best mood, I was fucking tired and cranky, I got called a whore, a bitch, a stalker, and some other stuff by various people and I feel messed up cuz this moring when I got picked up feels like yesterday (since I took a nap)

8 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Friday, March 19th, 2004

Time:	10:48 pm.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	the vines "ride".

Well I didn’t have anyone good to take pics of tonight, cuz ive been home, so I just had to settle for myself :/

( Read more... )

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Saturday, March 13th, 2004

Subject:	its been a lonnnnng 2 weeks...
Time:	5:13 pm.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	"the leaving song ".

well in case you didnt know i havent been online in 2 weeks...and believe me that feel like two years for someone like me...anyway its all cuz of my grades and that shit and last night wasnt the best night with my folks :( ...but after it all happened they sed that if i did alotta chores today then i could get on...for just an hour >:-/ bt o well im bored so its better than nothing....i have nothing else to write so heres what ive been up to...

*watched alot of great movies..waynes world, grind, identity, rock star,...and alot more i catn remember...yeah "waynes world 2" sucks big time
*had our field hockey "awards" thing and got the "quick score" award.yeah.
*my parents made me quit "street"...yeah so i dont want anyone thinking it was my choice..i have bad grades so ther calling all the shots
*i picked out my drumset, but i not allowd to buy it until the grades get better ( and im paying for it but they still wont let me get it> yeah >KINDA LAME)
*i left school on tuesday to get a "catscan" where they put you inside this machine for a half an hour while it takes pics of your brain...yeah ill admitt i was freaked out
*we had the GEPAs this week and alot of the math i didnt finish (not a shocker)
*and alot of other stuff happened that i cant remember> yup thats always good

well after my terific night last night dan came in my room before he left to go to his friends house and we talked for like 20 mintues...he gets me more than alot of my friends do so its all good...im glad at least one of my brothers isnt a tool

9 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Friday, February 27th, 2004

Subject:	it seems like lonely friday nights always lead to surveys so..
Time:	5:59 pm.
Mood:	depressed.

YOU….
Full Name: Chelsea Cecilia Anne Warner (Cecilia being conformation name)
) Birthday: January 5th 1990
) Age: 14
) Zodiac Sign: Capricorn
) Where you live: WD
WHO..... ( Read more... )

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Thursday, February 26th, 2004

Subject:	sorry i knwo long entrys suck
Time:	8:50 pm.
Mood:	naughty.
Music:	"spoonman" yeah i think thats whats its called.

ok so this is probably the last time i'll be updateing for a while cuz i think im failing math and science and once my mom checks my grades online tomorow (like she gona do every friday) itll be all over for me. but not like it matters cuz no one noticed last time i was gone...but anyway i got some good advice from the guy whos been teaching me drums and he seems to "know how it is" so i took it. well heres today...

P1: WOW, thats all i got to say...so here we are watching "the miracle of life" in sex ed (with the hippie Ms. chiachio as a sub) an all of the sudden theres this huge crash..first i thought she knocked over a desk but then i noticed her running over to the phone. Blaine w. had a seizure.He banged his head into his desk then againest his chair then he fell out of the chiar onto the floor. i felt so bad cuz ive been there passing out and not being sure what happened and it also got me kinda scared cuz ive been going to a brain doctor and theyve been trying to figure out some stuff about me and i wouldnt know what to think if that happened to me.
P2:nothing al that great sewing class is kinda "eh" but o well it aint every day
P3: me and Dona talked about "the old days" of 4th grade and 5th grade...hmm i dont remember being so odd..;p
P4: i think thats when me and Erin were agruing with Dona for liek 10 minutes..i dunno but theres just something about argueing that i cant resist..and also miss brennan talked in her "black man " voice as she read us this story
P5: science test."The Webb" got mad at me. same old same old.
P6: at lunch Jack kept trying to "feel me up" again and everyone was arm wrestling and i beat Ant M twice and Jack was like "ill arm wrestle you , and if you win ill leave you alone but if i win i get to grab your tits" so of course just like yesterday joe ant alex and all them were like "yeah do it chels"...uhh nah hes a wrestler (liek i woudl win)
P7:i failed my millionth quiz this week , yet i helped kids correct their quizzes
P8: we had our second day of "Olympics" in S.S my group was alyse rach mike ang and me. i was the only "gold medalist" on my team lol... and i think we got in last place..yeah PRETTY GAY HUH..hah i love that class cuz we alwasy do embaressing things>we even had to parade down the 6th grade wing with our "olympic flags". but i could care less

then tonight me and trac went to the high school for another "funfilled night" of "42nd street" then i went to old town music and now im here.yup. and i think im gona have another grounded-so-im-sitting-in-my-room-with-radio-on-in-the-dark>kinda weekend

and you people wonder why im alwasy looking forward to school?

3 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Monday, February 23rd, 2004

Subject:	....
Time:	6:13 pm.
Mood:	mellow.

Well I didn’t update this yesterday but this entry is about when I went to the mall Saturday night. It was me, Lindsay Chelsey, Tracy, and Brittanys cuz Chelsea (yup that’s right 3 chelseas), well linz told me to bring my camera to take pics of us in prom dresses…well we ended up taking pics of other stuff.fun., fun, night…

( the mall will never be the same again )

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Friday, February 20th, 2004

Subject:	im -b-a-c-k
Time:	9:58 pm.
Music:	"the great disapointment".

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Well people have been telling me to update since im back so ok I will….and I have a lot to say so listen up…Well the whole time I was away I couldn’t wait to get back because for a long time I haven’t really liked cali, or any other place in the world except for WD…but now that im back I don’t see what the big deal is. I don’t know if anyone has noticed but lately I feel like ive been judging people more..not to be mean just realizing that there aren’t many great people in this town. Now im not saying im anything special, but in my opinion there are more fake, dishonest, and just plain mean people then there are good. But im happy to say that I love all my friends and im not talking about any of you..and that includes all the great LJ friendsI talk to<cuz you defiantly are truly great …its just that as we get older it get harder to pick out the good people form the bad. Nowadays its all about not being yourself. For example there are those people who talk black to be goofy or to make fun of wiggas (hah ill admit I do that lol)(and as for alyse, ill make an exception cuz shes cool ;p) but then there are those white kids who try to act black (who just end up sounding stupid by the way) and you read their infos or journals or whatever and they have all these thuggish words>I don’t get it ? and the girls who think they need to be slutty to get the guys is stupid because if all the girls dress alike then the guys will see them all as the same kinda of girl and no one will stand out. The world just keeps getting worse and its all our faults cuz we did it to ourselves. So maybe California isn’t looking so bad anymore. Yeah their not “my kind of people” but they do something that here in NJ we just haven’t mastered….their assholes, their rich, their “plastic”, but hey….they just be theirselves…

So heres the pics from Las Vegas, Hollywood, and other parts of Cali…I had nothing else to do there so I just thought I would do what I do best…..

<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/airport.jpg>
in the airport
<lj-cut>
L/V at night..
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/luxor.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/mgmnight.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/newyorkny.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/excalaber.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/pyramid.jpg>
and in the daylight..
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/sahara.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/stratisphere.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/newyorkday.jpg>
the red rollercoatser in that pic is what me and dan went on
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/motorcylce.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/ferriswheel.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/excaliberday.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/clown.jpg>
^this ones for my clown-lovin friend linz ;)
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/bighotelday.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/chapel.jpg>
that’s not the one britney spears got married in but I did see the one that she went to but we drove by it to quick
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/manhatten.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/lion2.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/lion1.jpg>
I felt bad cuz they kept this poor lion ina cage in the hotel…it I could set it freee I would
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/silvercar.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/danandhat.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/redcar.jpg>
Hollywood…
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/claymates.jpg>
those girls had a sign that sed “honk if you love clay aiken” and I was shocked to hear that not ONE SINGLE CAR honked ahah
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/theater2.jpg>
Kodak theater
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/theater1.jpg>
idiots dressed up in character costumes
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/red_ranger.jpg>
…hes the only one that’s not an idiot though lol
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/elmo1.jpg>
for those of you that don’t know what happened.. last year I had a bad expierience with the guy dressed up like elmo..and well ever since ive been convinced he is a child milester
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/elmo2.jpg>
poor little girl…
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/danandmarlin.jpg>
dan and his new gf ..maralin Monroe
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/marolinm.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/arnolds.jpg>
the only governor with his handprints on the walk on fame
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/bestperson.jpg>
pssh that aint mine
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/bestbrother.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/hottie.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/extra.jpg>
that’s definalty a word im used to^
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/chelseamug.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/babybutts.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/be_mine.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/keychains.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/kissesfromhollywood.jpg>
they had all this v-day stuff there ….::sigh::
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/britneyspears.jpg>
we went on this “star tours” thing and right up there is Britney spears’s house^
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/britneyspears2.jpg>
and again from another angle
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/courtneycox.jpg>
Courtney cox/ david arquette
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/tobeymagurie.jpg>
tobey Maguire
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/richard_gere.jpg>
Richard gere
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/winona_ryder.jpg>
winona ryder
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/keenureeves.jpg>
keenu reeves
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/hallyberry.jpg>
halle berry
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/thestar.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/view5.jpg>
I thought all these views would be pretty
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/view4.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/view3.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/drinks.jpg>
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/danview.jpg>
dan
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/chelseaview.jpg>
muah
<img src=http://img9.photobucket.com/albums/v24/ChelseaWarner/orlandoposter.jpg>
the only celebrity that matters…lol

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Saturday, February 7th, 2004

Subject:	days im not looking forward to :tomorow, wednesday
Time:	6:50 pm.
Mood:	disappointed.
Music:	"space".

well tomorow we go on our "yearly" ski trip to the poconos for a day. well this year i really dont wanna go.and then on wednesday night im going to Cali. i dont know whats with me and all these "vacations i hate" but its also gona suck because the girl that i normally hang out with when i go skiing, is not exactly my favorite person at the moment. yeah i think everyone knows who that is. well im not gona be here on valentines day and it sucks because the people i love most are gona be 3 thousand miles away. well this is the last time im updating for like 2 weeks, and since ive filled out like 10 surveys that alot of my friends made i decided to make one myself since thats not normally "my thing" and being the ambitious person i am im gona do one. fill this out so ill have somthing to read when i get back>>

>When did we first meet::
>What's the best memory you have of me::
>The funniest::
>The worst::
>What's your nickname for me::
>Could you ever consider me a best friend::
>Which one of these words best describes me=bitch,stupid,fake,crazy,slutty or friendly::
>If I screwed up big time are you someone who could help me::
>Have you ever just wanted to say "fuck you" to me::
>On a scale of 1-10 how woudl you rate me as a person::
>If my plane goes down and i die, is there anything you never got a change to say to me::

.bye.

13 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Subject:	what can i say.....im an artist....
Time:	12:10 am.

..today was alright i guess. last night trac came over and she helped me with my video project..o man im gona fail that thing...its so crappy we did it in like 5 mintues :p.the she came with me to my drum lesson and then my dad drove her home. and right noe shes in costa rica soaking up the sun..which will make her already orange skin like brown..cant wiat to see what shell look like when she domes back. today while everyone was at "tHe dAnCE" me bri chels and linz went to the movies. brina geiger was gona come but then he found out he had work so it was just us 4. it was fun at friendlys afterwards. well heres some pics i drew in the LGI at recess today. everyone wanted me to draw pics of them cuz i drew a funny one of linz...im not even supposed to be in that lunch but this year (unlike last) the teachers could care less.

my drawing of *Sarah*....im glad she has a good sense of humor ;)
( Read more... )

3 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004

Subject:	if you're wondering why i wasnt in school today, read this..:-/
Time:	10:42 am.
Mood:	sick.

if you havent read the previous entry read that first or this one wont make sense...

well last night as some of you know i was online at like 9 o'clock.. anyway i went away cuz my parents wanted to check my math H/W cuz i did alot of problems wrong. so i went in thier room and like always we started fighting. i dont know why i always got to fight and curse and yell and scream but then again i coudl ask my mom the same question. anyway stuff happened, and i was so over the edge that i had to do somethign drastic. i signed off from the interent ran into my moms bathroom and took back the antidepressents...big mistake. i went into my bathroom locked the door and just stood there. i was holding the pill thinking about what i woudl do remebering what my mom sed about me not taking them. so of course being the intelligent person i am i just swallowed it. i had one of those moments when you smile with tears in your eyes. so then without saying anything i went to bed. i felt miserable but i was hoping the medicine would kick in and i woudl be happy the next day...then at like 3 oclock in the morning i woke up. i was sweating really hard my hands were shaking and i was breatheing really deep, i coudl feel in my stomach so much pain and the first thing that popped in my head was. "why did i do it?" i knew i coudlnt get back to sleep cuz i could hardly breathe so i just sat up and tried to walk to the bathroom to get some water. the second i got up i started feeling really dizzy and i coudl barely stand. i started to wlak out of my room and i think the sound of me runnign into the walls woke my dad up because i remember seeing him walk out of his room. then suddenly i collasped. i took one look up at the ceiling and blacked out. ( Read more... )

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Monday, February 2nd, 2004

Subject:	"acceptance in her eyes, was simply another means for survival.."
Time:	9:15 pm.
Mood:	bitchy.

well im in one of those situations where i probably shoudlnt talk about this, but im someone who doesnt really care if people know stuff so here goes..well some of my friends know that i went to a brain doctor on friday in hopes of figureing why ive been getting major headaches for two years. well the doctor did some tests and he asked met aloot of personal questions and hehad a few guesses why ive been feeling so sick.(and mayeb if my whole stomach sickness is connected to my head) and so he suggested alot of things i should do, change what i eat, get a xray of my head, go see this certain stomach doctor, and one mor ethin that my mom wasnt to proud of. he gave me a prescription for anti-depressents cuz he thinks that im someone that has a "chemical embalance" and they woul help. so im all right with that. thats fine. but anyway tongiht im in the carwith my mom and she goes "hey chel have you taken those pills yet" me:" no but im gona start tkaing them tongiht" mom:" well actually im gona take them away form you cuz i dont want you taking them, because i think you dont need them, your not a depressed person" me:(pissed look) "well thats your opinion" mom:"yeah but its right too" ...BULLSHIT i never stop hearing form my mom that im a miserable person and that she thinks im alwasy depressed and now when i actually get help she thinks theres nothing wrong because after all im am the daughter of a "perfect" person. its bad enough having your parents complain that you dont smile enough but when they take it back by sayin "they know you better then you know youself" pisses me off. so what if im Mary fucking Poppins in school, i know tons of people that act happy when their not, and im no exception. i cant help being how i am and i wish i always wasnt o miserable but im realy starting to think that its not my fault, and that its just a "chemical imbalance". so FYI tomorow im gona be really pissed in school, or maybe i might be super happy..i dunno it all depends if i can find "them"..

3 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Sunday, February 1st, 2004

Subject:	this is what boredom will do to you..
Time:	5:40 pm.
Mood:	drained.
Music:	the" janes addiction" sonic session.

( the one rule of my room nobody seems to follow.. )

4 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Saturday, January 31st, 2004

Subject:	things actually happened today..
Time:	9:57 pm.
Mood:	tired.
Music:	audioslave.

well yesterday sucked for trac/chels cuz they got their purses and cell phone stolen by these paulsboro bitches. i feel so bad and if i didnt leave early i would of probably gotten my stuff stolen too.

this morning sucked cuz me and trac had to go to rehersel...4 hours of tap dancing ..and we still dont know the dance, and all we did was talk to alex the whole time :p then me/trac/chels/linz went to the mall and on the way there lindsay told me that in desirae beebes subprofile she has a hitlist and im #1 , i actually find that more flattering than creepy...is that weird?

at the mall we saw dan, dom,mike, den, and their whole gang and then me and linz went in Hot Topic and this 20 year od guy was hitting on her and gave her his phone # and his website. we were kinda creeped out but he gave me a hi five and asked for my name too. he kept staring at us the whole time and i was like "he probably thinks your 18 and he wants to bang you"

well it seems like ever since the insident at RW last night my whole gang is "prejudice" and tracy sed they were having a "blackfest" at the mall tonight...and also chelsey woudlnt let me say "cellphone" cuz that got her depressed, so of course being the little assholes me and lindsay are we kept claling them and talking about cellphones and i was like "guys check your cell phones to see what time it is " and chels sed "YOU DONT HAVE TO SAY CELL PHONES YOU CAN JUST ASK FOR THE TIME!"

..nothing else is really going on except for my new "medication" that everyone keeps asking about lol, no its not "happy pills" but pretty close..hmm its weird cuz most people would think i woudlnt need them , but also most people dont know me that well..

that was long.thanx for reading.heartheart

7 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Thursday, January 29th, 2004

Subject:	this girl needs some excitement in her pathetic life
Time:	5:29 pm.
Mood:	busy.
Music:	nirvana.

well it seems like i never tell about my day anymore in these entrys so i guess il talk a little about this week. we had off on monday and then we came to school late yesterday which was great. then later that night me and trac went to rehersel and it seems like we had a good time this time. except for the fact that the boys kept caling us "14 year old 7th graders" but then it was so funny when we were doing a scene and "alomst josh" walked away from christina bland and she was like "you better bring your milkshake back over to this yard!" hah and then that tim kid is so weird and he was trying to impress me with his "talents" but it didnt really work out for him :p.
then today first period we had our last day of gym and me and jessie were stanidng behind the net in handball and the gym teachers kept saying "you chicken girls get out form behind the net", and the whole class they kept calling us chicken girls. w/e but then my big moment came when i ran up and threw the ball and scored the winning point for me team (it was 6-6) and i jumped up and then ran back to the scoreing thing. the other team thought they won and mr cross blew the whistle and everyone got silent and he was like "chelsea warner scored that point before you guys did but she wasnt rude and cut infront of people, she went around so chelsea warners team wins" and me and jessie were laughing and im like "this is the single greatest moment of my life (that and also when i got colin out ;)
then 2nd period i made fudge again and screwed it up again, so i guess that was fun :p and hopefully my "baby girl" can hang out wiht me tomorow, so that should be fun:)

..lindsays not the only one that can have fun with mirrors...( Read more... )

6 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Monday, January 26th, 2004

Subject:	i dont care what anyone says, snow days SUCK
Time:	2:58 pm.
Mood:	lonely.
Music:	"hit that".

You are MARRISA'S BAD HAIR DAY.

What Quirk From THE OC Are You?
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its funny cuz i am haveing a bad hair 2day

You know so much about the nightmare before
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Congratulations.Please Please Please vote for
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Your the perfect friend,your tight with your
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there for them.................Please rate my
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Are you a good friend???
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thats really really really hard to believe :/

2 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

Sunday, January 25th, 2004

Subject:	"guard your cardinal treasure"
Time:	9:17 am.
Mood:	bored.
Music:	"for you".

well since todays the 25th (a month since Xmas and me getting this camera) here are pics over the past month of my friends that i havent alreaady put in here, some a Xmas break, some from my birthday, and also from other stuff...

( Read more... )

11 ..their in my head|I'm so happy, cuz today I've found my friends

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